We both know you are lingering when you should have moved on, Mariella Frostrup tells a woman who says she is still sending flirty emails to a man who says he has no romantic feelings for her
The dilemma Last year I accidentally told an old friend I liked him. He said he had no romantic feelings for me, which of course I accepted. Fast forward to now. I recently wrote to him asking for some help with my PhD idea. We messaged each other over it for about an hour and a half. Nothing wrong with that – but I noticed a few hours later that half the messages we exchanged were deleted by him. The content was flirty. He has a girlfriend but it’s complicated. What I don’t get is why did he delete the messages? It’s not unusual for us to be flirty. What’s going on?
Mariella replies Do you really need me to tell you? I’ve realised after two decades in the job (yes, yes, slow learner I know!) that often people write to me so I can spell out clearly what they already suspect but aren’t ready to accept. You certainly back up my theory, as the first part of your letter pretty succinctly sums up what’s causing the problems outlined in the latter half of it.
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