I have no wish to change gender, or think that I want to act out the scenario, but I do get obsessively worried by my thoughts
I am a straight man but sometimes I get turned on at the thought of being a woman performing a sex act with a man. I have no desire to change gender and it is more like watching a sexy scene for me – I don’t think I actually want to carry out the fantasy. It does disturb me that I think like this and I can get obsessively worried about it. I have had obsessive thoughts of all kinds in the past.
Many people are disturbed by their fantasies; the images can be embarrassing, repugnant, even unacceptably shocking. But it is perfectly common to have fantasies about sexual acts one has no intention of carrying out in reality. And our fantasies may contain scenes involving unlikely characters who are protagonists in scenarios that represent our deep desires – even if we do not recognise how. If you identify with the woman in your fantasy, it may simply be that you experience arousal when you are connected with the basic erotic concepts of the scene – for example, receiving penetration, being submissive and so on. Some men – gay or straight – like to role-play in vivo at being female and receiving penetration, domination or punishment by a man or woman. Experiment if you wish, but do try to accept that your fantasies are mysterious and private. You do not need to be concerned about them or share them with others. On the other hand, general obsessiveness can cause all kinds of problems in a person’s life. Consider seeking treatment for it, especially if you feel that your obsessions are negatively affecting you or others.
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