Emanuel Macron has taken four days off: “exhausted” is his given reason. Naturally, his nation scrambles for a better excuse. Exhaustion was spoiled as a get-out years ago, when rock stars started using it to mean “off my tits”.
The real reason, according to French gossip, is a rift with his wife Brigitte, who was overheard reprimanding him by palace staff. “No more fuck-ups,” was her alleged command, after he posed for unpresidential photos with half-naked rappers. Rumours became so febrile that his press people posted a picture of the pair together, hashtagged “love”, and the world breathed a sigh of relief, because that is definitely what people do when they are truly in love. They depart for an undisclosed location on All Saints’ Day weekend, to shore up their #love, presumably with #lazysundays and #shagging.
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