I’m a feminist. So why does infertility make me feel like a failure? | Katy Lindemann

My rational side knows I don’t need a child to give my life purpose, yet I am possessed by the desire to be a mother

As a 21st-century feminist, of course I don’t believe a woman’s worth is determined by her ability to reproduce. Having a child isn’t the defining aspect of female identity  – womanhood means so much more than motherhood. Yet I feel like a failure as a woman because I can’t have children. My own sense of self-worth is inextricably intertwined with my inability to get or stay pregnant.

The very definition of female is “of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring”. And I can’t do that. What’s the point of having ovaries, a womb and breasts if I can’t use them as nature intended? Getting my period is a monthly reminder of my reproductive potential –  and failure. My uterus is defective, ergo I am defective.

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