Lidia Buonaiuto was 27 when things finally clicked and a lifelong weight was lifted: she wasn’t a freak, she wasn’t a weirdo, and she wasn’t alone in feeling the way she did about sex and relationships. She was, she discovered, demisexual.
“I don’t fancy people,” she says, almost apologetically. Demisexuality, she says, is a relatively straightforward term to describe how she identifies herself in the world: “I don’t have a primary sexual attraction to anyone the way most people do, ever. I identify as straight and I’m not in any way a prude, but I need to have a deep emotional connection with someone before any sexual feelings appear. Demisexuality is not a preference or personality trait.” She likens it to a neurological block in which she can’t form romantic and sexual connections in the “normal” way.
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