It’s a bummer when a little sun worship ends up leaving you in agony, as the Avengers star claimed to have discovered when trying ‘perineum sunning’
Christmas is not an ideal time for a writer because you have to go home and explain to your family what you do. They all have real jobs, your family. They all do normal things and have normal salaries and are normal. “How’s … what is it again, writing?” they ask. And I nod and say: good, yeah. “What sort of thing do you write about?” I am picking all of the Bounty bars out of the box of Celebrations as a stalling method. I am trying not to make eye contact with my little cousin, who just told us about his karate brown-and-white belt. The Christmas music seems to have tapered off. My voice breaks a little, goes soft. “Josh Brolin’s sunburned arsehole,” I tell them, quietly. My aunt says she didn’t quite catch that. Could I repeat it? And in a loud voice, directly into Val’s ear, I have to tell her: JOSH BROLIN’S SUNBURNED ARSEHOLE.
Listen, Brolin sunburned his arsehole, allegedly, and we need to look into this, so to speak. To set this up: a recent wellness trend is to sun your perineum, because … I don’t know, the perineum is good at absorbing sunlight? I don’t know. Josh Brolin says he tried it. On Instagram this week, he wrote: “Tried this perineum sunning that I’ve been hearing about and my suggestion is DO NOT do it as long as I did. My pucker hole is crazy burned and I was going to spend the day shopping with my family and instead I’m icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain.” He then went on to use three premium-quality swearwords in a 15-word sentence before dropping the hashtag “#santamonicafiredepartment”. Johnny Knoxville commented: “Taint’ that a shame.” He’s very famous, Val, OK! He was on Jackass! I know you know what Jackass is!
Continue reading...from The Guardian https://ift.tt/2DPuCyx
via
0 Comments