Often we’re afraid to leave relationships for the same reason we want to end them, writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. But staying can be just as cruel
I love my girlfriend but don’t see myself with her for marriage or kids. I feel so conflicted. We’ve lived together for five years, we get on well most of the time. But I find I am losing patience with her. She’s jealous of any female colleagues, which makes me loathe to discuss work or friends with her. She will go through my Facebook friends at times and ask “Who’s [name]?” – it feels like an accusation every time.
I’m very extroverted and enjoy doing things with others, making plans at random, and she’s the opposite of this. I think it’s healthy to have outside interests and friends, and she doesn’t have any. I’m beginning to think we just aren’t right for each other, but I fear if I ever made a decision to try and end things, it would destroy her. I’ve tried talking to her before and felt I got nowhere. I feel unhappy, but wrong for feeling unhappy. *
Eleanor says: We both know that the quiet core of this question is no question: you want to leave. When we speak about our partners to other people, we should listen to what we say. The first thing you said was that you don’t see yourself with this person for marriage or kids. The second thing you said was that there’s a list of good reasons for that. So if you’d like permission to feel that way, you have it: I release you. You don’t have to stay.
from The Guardian https://ift.tt/30RM7er
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