Australian Christmas songs ranked by how baffling they are to literally anyone else

It wouldn’t be an Aussie Xmas without sun, prawns and native birds. Perhaps too many native birds. Patrick Lenton investigates

Coming back to Australia after doing most of my primary school years overseas involved a couple of moments of cultural discord – chief among them the bizarre, almost organic stage-musical moment of watching everyone suddenly break into The Nutbush, unrehearsed. But nothing has ever made me feel truly like I’m living in a strange make-believe country than when I first heard an Australian Christmas carol.

I don’t know what it is about our national psyche, this urge to remake Christmas carols that are hyperspecific to our nation. But it probably has to do with climate dysphoria – when almost every Yuletide song mentions the snow, the fireplace, the warm eggnog and Santa getting frostbite and losing his fingers, the contrast between the Australian Christmas experience of a stinking hot summer day and various prawn-related crises becomes stark.

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