What you choose at the bar could reveal more than you think
Not everyone can be the life and soul of the Christmas party, the crowd hanging on their every word, the Insta-paparazzi desperate for a selfie with them. Some of us are just plain old chromosomes in a cardigan, trying to make it from one half-hour of excruciating small talk to the next. Historically, alcohol has gone some way to helping wallflowers peel themselves away from the anaglypta, but in recent years booze has evolved from confidence accelerant to an entire way of life. Forget being defined by your job, sexuality or Brexit vote; while having a drinking problem used to be cause for concern, in some quarters overdoing your tipple of choice is seen as a valid personality substitute.
For proof, you need only take a cursory glance at someone’s social media or dating profile. Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my gin, they tell you. How long until wine o’clock, they ask. And as Christmas looms large, alcohol-related merchandise is clogging up the gift aisles and seasonal home pages of every retailer. Tote bags, T-shirts and mugs are emblazoned with whimsical drinking slogans, each more painful than the last (“Prosecco made me do it!” “Is vodka a carb?”). It’s remarkable that these card-carrying booze-lovers are able to function; if you believe their fridge magnets, they must be permanently wasted. As the season of perma-intoxication gets into full swing, here is my choice of the festive drink tribes.
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